a walking b&s song
oh, the vibrancy of remembered crushes.

it was fall term 1999, i believe. i remember the weather was getting colder. he sat alongside the liberal arts buildings on tuesdays and thursdays and i peered at him from behind my massive lit anthologies or stole glances as i stumbled past on my way to my car. sadly, i've never been known for my gracefulness, especially when it comes to matters such as these.

he was better than my other crushes because he sat on the school's thick cement benches backward, you know, with his back to the world and his feet in the bushes. shaggy hair falling into his eyes, black hooded sweatshirt; he was always reading.

his name could have been evan, maybe. or ian. one of those really attractive names that begin with a vowel and conclude with an 'n.' the walks to my car were filled with daydreams of asking him to my house for tea [earl grey, with scones], to an ice cream shoppe on the beach, or to a bagel deli for rainy afternoon sandwiches.

after relaying said daydreams to a friend, he commented, "you sound just like a walking belle & sebastian song! you should go for it!"

"yeah, who could say no to an invitation like that?" i reasoned, but i still never found the courage to approach him.

december came, school ended, and i haven't seen him since, but it's probably for the best anyway. you know how crushes go, after all.

-kim

Wednesday, January 24, 2001

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